"A guy I’ve been dating for about 9 months (we’re not exclusive) told me on Christmas saying that he doesn’t see a future with me because he feels we can’t have deep intellectual conversation.
As I’ve been following your teaching, I feel sad, but calm. Thanks to you, I feel I can let him go with peace. Everyone will come to your life for a reason or a season. I’ve sat with my feelings, felt my deep appreciation of our wonderful time spent together and also the lessons learned throughout our time knowing each other. I plan to lean back – not reaching out even on his birthday that will fall in the coming week.
I feel I’ve been applying your teaching – being receptive and being honey. I always focus on being present and building on emotional connection when we were together. However, we belong to a very different field of work and also we have different interests. I am in art, while he is in tech start up. His interests are on finance, politics, and technology; as for me I am interested in psychology and history.
I don’t have much knowledge on his areas of interests, and vice versa. When we spend time together, we’d go on nature walk, go to restaurant, cook a meal together, or watch movies at home- in which I feel we’d bond and enjoy each other company.
Sex is really great between us, there’s no question about it, in which he also admits himself that I am definitely 8 out of 10 – even with him being a much more experienced person than me (he’s also 12 years older: I am 29 and he is 41). However he said he wants a relationship and conversation with someone that he feels can ‘stimulate’ him intellectually. And he couldn’t find that in me, even after 9 months of
dating.
So my question is: Is it a lost cause to date someone whose interests are different than you? I’ve learned so much about the importance of building emotional connection in a romantic relationship, but not about intellectual aspect of it.
I’ve always known that him and I have different interests. For me I always appreciate things I could learn from him. When he talks about things he is passionate about, I try to be curious. I don’t try to act like I know- because I don’t. I am receptive of what he’s teaching me about things he’s passionate about and also his projects/field of works. I never commented and talked him down about it.
What caught me off guard was he’s been consistent since the day we met and he pursued me, he always texted me first everyday – at least once a day. He’s always very thoughtful and pays attention to our conversation. He initiates us meeting up – we’ve been meeting twice a week for the past 2 months.
He’ll pick up (observe) things that I like and don’t like even without me mentioning to him about them directly. He’s a very observant person and have been very thoughtful with me. I thought everything was going great, till he said that last night. How would you handle this situation, Kat? I am learning to be better in dating, and about feminine-masculine polarity. What could I have done differently in this
case?
Additional info: He spent the night at my place last night, after us having that conversation. We just slept next to each other (no sex, but he hugged me as we slept), but in the morning he left without having breakfast together (usually we'd also have breakfast together before he leaves). Before he left, we hugged and he said "thank you for everything" to me.
I didn't text him all day (I never did anyway bc I never needed to. He always initiated). At night he texted me: I hope what I said made a bit of sense. I slept well, as always. (Referring to when he slept over for the "last time" at my place) Hope you had a nice day.
Would love to hear your opinion, and also answer to my question. Thank you very much in advance, Kat! "
Clearly , you're missing out by not being in the fan subscriptions. On top of the above class, we now have 217 classes (over 237 hours of streaming) in the library you can get busy with upon signing up.
Get on the fan subscriptions for weekly guidance from me and Coach Dasha (she shows up 3 Sundays/month). She showed up last week with the topic most of you need and can't afford to miss: How to Get Unstuck From Your Timelines. You also don't want to miss her previous class before this one: Mexico Healing in which she shared her personal journey with her husband in our recent trip in Cabo. You simply don't want to miss what she had to say.
My 214th Satsang: "When You Are Stuck In A Cycle Of Constant Arguments and Hurt Feelings, Here's the One Advice Nobody Else In the Business Knows and Gives" is especially counterintuitive, deep and mind expanding. This kind of advice I can say with certainty isn't available out there.
