Hi ,

Let’s talk about something that every woman faces, but few feel confident about: how to have boundaries without feeling like you’re pushing people away. I see this struggle every day in my clients. You want to be open, loving, and generous—but you also want to protect your peace and sanity. Is it possible to do both? Absolutely, and I’ll show you how.

Recently, a client (let’s call her Claire) came to me wondering why everyone in her life seems to say that she's impossible or very difficult to deal with.  She signed up for the 5 hour coaching package and through a lengthy  exploration to her background and history in the beginning I began to see a clearer picture.

She believed she was doing the right thing by defining her boundaries and she got really frustrated that after telling the people in her life what's important to her -her boyfriend, her colleague, girlfriend and her sister- they still violated them. She felt hurt and unheard and they avoided her instead of apologizing and trying to make amends.

Feeling confused she decided to seek my help because it seems that she's the common denominator.

Sound familiar? There is a lot of generic advice in the internet especially in the dating niche that it's so important to define your boundaries and be firm with them. 

I always say not that you shouldn't have any boundary, but what is also important is have you done your inner work so you have embraced your shadow side?

What does it have to do with me protecting my needs, Kat, you might ask.

Well, everything...keep reading.

Why Boundaries Shift With Growth (and Why They’re So Hard to Set)

When you don’t have boundaries, you end up giving from a place of depletion, that much is true. You say yes when you mean no, you agree to things that leave you feeling resentful, and you start to lose touch with your own needs. The result? Emotional exhaustion, anxiety, and a growing sense of disconnect—from yourself and those you love.

However, when you are fractured (which means you haven't integrrated every side of you), your boundaries become "impossible" and "threatening" to people around you as they feel they're walking on eggshells around you.

Claire, as it turned out, usually started with this sentence with her loved ones "This is my boundary..."

Immediately they feel tense upon hearing that.  And as usually goes when we set hard boundaries or have high expectations that people will follow and understand what you want and don't want absolutely you begin to notice that they are violated more often than not.

Then we get upset and disrespected, then we tell them.  Then they retract from us further and further because we have "high expectations."

So I told Claire, first of all, relax a bit, pick your battle and don't use that phrase because it will raise people's defenses on the spot.  And say we don't have everything we thought we needed fulfilled instead of lashing out and confronting them each and every time, try pulling back and show displeasure with silence.

The pull back allows people to process what they might have done wrong and that way they're more willing to introspect better than when they are being cornered.

This might sound counter intuitive.  And I might elaborate further in next email.

But bottom line is, when you have done your inner work you become less bothered by every little thing people do or don't do.  You become more flexible as you manage to adjust to most situations without resentment.

When something is really out of line to you then yes you will calmly express your preferences and if it's not welcome you will just remove yourself from the situation.  For example, people who know who they are and what they will tolerate or not will not be around people who continuously disrespect their boundaries without much confrontation unless it's really necessary.

At the same time they will not expect people around them to accommodate their every desire.  This balance of setting healthy boundaries and skillful emotional management allow them to have thriving relationships with people that matter to them.

I teach my clients the art of leaning back—not as a way to withdraw, but as a way to honor your own energy. When you’re centered in yourself, you can say no with grace, and yes with genuine enthusiasm. People feel your warmth, not your walls.

How to Set a Boundary Without Losing Your Spark

• Get Clear on Your Needs: Before you can set a boundary, you need to know what actually feels good and safe for you. Take a moment to check in with yourself—what do you need more of? What drains you? Again, all these will be clear when you have done your inner work so you don't start following generic advice blibdly without intuitive understanding of why you need to do what you do.
• Communicate Calmly and Kindly: Boundaries are best delivered from a place of calm, not anger. “I love spending time with you, but I need some quiet tonight to recharge.” That’s not rejection—it’s honesty.
• Hold Your Line with Compassion: People might push back at first, especially if they’re used to you always saying yes. Stay steady. The more you practice, the easier it gets.
• Don’t Apologize for Taking Care of Yourself: Guilt is a sign you’re breaking an old pattern that no longer serves you. Remind yourself: your wholeness is your gift to the world.

This is the heart of what I teach in Journey Inward: how to be rooted in yourself, so you can show up in your relationships fully, without losing your warmth or your boundaries. When you’re grounded, you become magnetic—not because you’re trying to please everyone, but because you’re deeply at peace with yourself.

Now Journey Inward comes with a 30 min diagnosis coaching valued at $699 or 2 month in the fan subscriptions so you can access all the 330 rich content or classes in the library and get the monthly coaching as well so you can ask your questions pertaining to your situation.
 

And if you get one or more of the classes listed here (including the one hit class pertinent to the topic today How To Soften Your Boundaries So You Become Non Reactive And Irresistible) as they're very affordable yet VERY INSPIRING and TRANSFORMATIONAL, email me for a surprised bonus I will gift you valued at $127 if you tell me your situation.

Kat's wisdom is unusual and the fact that I present boundaries so UNLIKE generic advice out there should tell you something.

Ready to Make Boundaries Your Superpower?

If you’re done feeling like you have to choose between being nice and being true to yourself, it’s time to take a new approach. My fan subscriptions give you access to over 330 classes and monthly live coaching, where we dive deep into topics like emotional attraction, feminine magnetism, and—yes—boundaries that feel good. This is the most affordable, supportive way to get my guidance and join a sisterhood of women who are learning to live from their center.

If the Facebook link doesn’t work for you, you can also use this membership link (3 month minimum). Don’t wait for another year to pass you by while you’re stuck in old patterns. Let’s make this the summer you become the woman who is both loving and unshakeable.

Love,

Katarina

P.S. If you have a question or want to know which class is right for you, reply to this email with cc to orpheus218@gmail.com. I’m always here to help you find your way back to yourself.