Why Is He Pulling Away And How to Keep Him Attracted

Published: Wed, 03/27/13

It's a question of needing space. In general men need more space than women because the nature of testosterone is separation, independence and autonomy while bonding is something women are naturally good at. However, whoever needs more space in relationship will appear like pulling away from time to time to establish his/her independence and boundaries and pace the relationship.

So if your guy is pulling away, don't panic because:

1. As part of intimacy cycle most guys will need to "regroup" after a period of intimacy (say after your weekend getaway). This is also called the rubber band effect. When a rubber band is stretched, and if the other end stays put, at some point the end that is being stretched will have to bounce back to its original position. So in other words, when your guy is pulling away, as long as you don't chase and try to cling on to him, he will bounce back to you re-energized. Many women though, out of fear and ignorance, do the very thing that disturbs the bouncing-back process. Now instead of bouncing back, these men are running away from them.

2. In actuality he may just be genuinely busy living his life but since you are so hooked on his charm already, you just can't stop thinking about him and wanting to reach out to him. The more you are focused on him, the longer time seems to fly without being in touch with him, the more longing and the more anxious you feel. He perhaps doesn't think anything has changed with him at all.