Why Women Freak Out Around A Man and Unknowingly Do Things Which Push Him Away

Published: Thu, 03/06/14

Do You Want To Break Up Sooner With Your BF?  Listen To Your Girlfriends
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Hi,

I often tell my clients not to listen to their girlfriends (or friends in general). Here's an example from Caetlin: "How does everyone cope with things your friends say or comments they make about things going on in your relationship...?  For example Friday night my bf was having drinks with work colleagues in my area, I said to him if u need somewhere near by to crash let me know. He said thank you baby but not sure how late I will be but I will let you know. I was happy with that response, and didn't hear from him again Friday evening so just assumed he had gone home but woke up to a text saying good morning beautiful on Saturday morning. I was completely happy with that yet my girlfriend I was with Friday night thought it was rude of him to not let me know he wasn't coming to stay and thought it was suspect that he was in my area of London (I am south west he is north east) yet not staying at my house....

The same friend commented after looking at my bf's Facebook that his status says "single" and so does mine yet we have been dating for almost a year. She thinks it's suspect he hasn't changed it ... It bothered me at the start but I have let go of that insecurity as it's only silly Facebook but the fact she is bringing it up makes me feel like I am being too lax?

On Saturday night we both did our own separate things with our own friends, I have a fairly tedious house party I had to attend and he had his night with the boys. Another friend was questioning why he wasn't at the party and he should have been there to support me - it was one of those engagements where you don't really want to attend but feel obligated to. She thought it was rude he had his own party with his boys at his house while I was at another party that I knew I wouldn't enjoy... And he knew I wouldn't enjoy either. He said to me earlier last week I can come if you need me there and I had said no babe you do your own thing - thinking this was feminine and healthy after just spending 10 days in Morocco together the week before. 

Help..! I feel like I am making progress and being much more relaxed and feminine but my close friends have all seemed to think I am now being walked all over and a doormat! Yet we have never been happier and I have never felt more in love!! This morning waking up next to him I felt truly blessed and so happy yet now my girlfriends seen to be bursting my bubble a little bit!

I do understand their concern as we had a very rough patch at the start of the year, but he is super masculine and since I've started doing what Kat teaches my relationship has turned around. He is talking of buying houses and marriage and finally said I love you after one year of claiming he didn't believe in love, haha.

Sometimes they tell me past stories and I think wow, I would have done that before I found Kat too but now I would breath and let it go. I guess I am so proud of my progress, I know it's going to take a lot of practice to cement it but they don't really seem to understand the change in me. They seem to think I've become a passive doormat who doesn't stand up for themselves when I seem to think I've just gotten better at softening my boundaries and I am reaping the rewards lol

If I had of done what they suggested both times it would have ended up in drama, and when there is drama my boyfriend puts his head in the sand and tries to pretend it's not happening which always makes it worse and has resulted in us breaking up earlier this year, so I feel like what I am doing is right. Maybe just need to now learn to switch off their voices in my head and be more confident in my actions and my relationship!! We are the happiest we have been ever since we have met each other, and I wouldn't do anything to go backwards and take that all away!!

Katarina, So glad I found what you teach, it's the only way to be and I feel so much better for it."

A woman inadvertently often puts herself in a precarious situation with a man.  She's insecure to begin with and listening to her friends hasn't helped either.  And you know what happens when a woman goes through a difficult situation with a man, right?

She keeps freaking out...I call it the freak out syndrome. This is how the cycle runs:

A woman finds herself in a difficult situation with a man.. . She doesn't understand why he's doing what he's doing...  She then tries to do what she assumes is the right thing but it doesn't work...

She then feels stuck and eventually freaks out.

It's no surprise why so many women are leading a life of silent desperation. The point I am trying to make here is that when women drive themselves completely nuts by freaking out over and over again, it messes them up completely over time.

And it's often aggravated because they listen to their girlfriends too much even though each time it happens their relationships suffer some more and often end up in repeated breakups.  

But it doesn't stop here...

In fact! Under such a situation a woman unknowingly does things which push a man further away.  Here are the two most common routes women take:

1- They first try to convince a man. 
2- And when the first option doesn't work, they try to argue their way into his head.

I don't know why but women have this inner belief that if they can just explain their situation to a man he will somehow get it.

Guess what? It doesn't really work that way. You can never make him understand your situation when you try hard to drill your point into his head. In fact,the harder you try, the further he will pull himself.

And when convincing him doesn't work, they take the second route, which is to argue or fight and finally when things get really bad, they use blame and guilt to get their point across.

Let me explain this with a good example...

Let's say your man is starting to get distant and you fear that maybe he is planning to leave you. You first try to understand why he is getting distant, but things aren't making any sense, as a result you freak out.

Next, you try to talk to him about it, you say things like: "Honey! I don't know why you are avoiding me like this, what have I done? Are you planning to leave me? Have you found someone else? I need answers."

And you still don't get the answers you need and as a result your anxiety is starting to turn into anger. You feel that you deserve answers from him and in the process you say things like: "I am sick and tired of not getting answers from you. You aren't pulling your share of weight in the relationship, I feel like I am doing all the work. You only care about yourself."

This is a major mistake which can literally shake the foundation of a relationship. When you use this approach a man only feels attacked and his first reaction is to get even more distant to avoid confrontation.

It's important to understand that you can't hold a gun to his head and make him get it. You are following an utterly hopeless strategy if you think you can.

There is a better way - There are things you can do and say which will naturally make a man want to open up to you, give you all the love you need and be devoted to you for the rest of his life. 

I have a brand new program that will just deal with all these issues.  It's called Four Components Of Melting His Heart.  

I will give you practical advice on how to deal with your triggers and how to get what you need from your man without pushing him away. This program together with my two other hit programs of Journey Inward and Leaning Back workshop will catapult you into a high-value woman so utterly and unbelievably cherished.... Plans are available.

You know what I teach is often counterintuitive but it works like a charm.  You know why?  Cause it comes from a place of authentic fullness and wholesomeness.  Your high vibration is palpable in everything you do. Everyday I see results in our growing community.  But sometimes I endorse other coaches who might give a different perspective to mine (there are many routes to Rome) cause I know they have a valid POV too.  Check this one out:

How To Read A Man


Love,

Katarina