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I love reading and sharing my clients' personal transformation stories. Each one is a reminder how you can turn your relationship around overnight and overcome your blind spot simply by being pointed out a different
perspective that is equally, if more valid and how to be in the other person's shoes such as this one by Clare: "I've gone from "I don't know if I want to commit to a relationship with you" to "I need you, I don't know what I would do without you" in 3 months. Obviously not
ideal circumstances right now... But I am still so grateful for the growth and the lessons you have taught me in this group ladies and most of all Katarina!
Everything turned around after we hit rock bottom early this year. I found
Kat and stopped being bitter and blaming my boyfriend for everything and started taking responsibility for my actions and realizing how I was retaliating.
I had been cheated on by my ex and hadn't healed those wounds making me a very angry masculine jaded woman. I believed I was entitled to be treated like a princess but wasn't behaving gracious or feminine, rather demanding he meet my needs and not taking into account whether he
was able to or whether my demands were just squashing his spirit.
I joined up to Kat's Leaning Back and Journey Inward
classes, I read the ebook, I started journaling, recognized all the patterns in my past relationships. I used to just say "I am a control freak" and think that should just excuse my ways with men, but it isn't the natural way to be, and when you realize there are other ways you give yourself the ability to let go of that monster and
develop into a much happier person.
It's so exciting when you just feel so happy and contented for no real reason. I used to wake up every morning and list all the
worries I had to deal with for the day, Kat has taught me to wake up and list the blessings.
I would just get so bogged down and mope around and hate the situations I was in, but never link the fact that I was there due to my own actions, behaviors and beliefs. I was feeling really down one day and I just decided to stop. Stop being negative, stop complaining, stop calling friends and moping and dissecting my relationship. To only talk about the positive things, not to mention if my bf didn't do something I had
asked, or forgot something important, just to praise and appreciate what he did do... In a week I felt different. It really is within us, we all have that power to be happy and content and if not to make changes. It doesn't happen instantly but it does happen if we are responsible adults and take accountability for ourselves and our actions!
I realized how much fun me and my bf would have when I was in a "happy and playful mood" these are feminine qualities... When I was feeling moody or hard done by or unappreciated I would lash out, he would instantly get on the front foot and we would clash, resulting in him retreating emotionally and me beating myself up and him
up for days.
My relationship was basically over before I met Kat and I was killing it all by myself. Trying to set the pace, forcing him to let me take the lead. I basically bullied him into making me his gf as is.. When he stated so clearly when meeting me "I don't want a relationship, relationships suck" now after everything I have learnt he says to me "I never knew relationships could
be this easy."
Yes we disagree on some things but I know how to handle it now, I don't bombard him with emotional texts or calls, I give him space, keep myself busy and he comes back to me with an apology or a gesture to show he is sorry and wants to move forward. This is the man who would drop me for his buddies in a heartbeat, kept me waiting at his house with dinner I cooked for him
for 2 hours past when we were supposed to meet.
Kat is so right when she says that once you begin to change they do too, he is the happiest and most loving I have ever seen him, and the recent tragedy in his life has further highlighted to both of us how strong our relationship has become. 4 months ago he wouldn't have come to me with any problem, he would have blocked me out and not
spoken to me for weeks, on Sunday when he heard the news of his dad's suicide I was the first person he called, and he came straight to my house.
We worked out a plan to get him home and he opened up and cried in my arms. I never ever ever thought I would ever see him cry in my life, he is so hardened emotionally. It is possible. You just need to practice the theory and want to make
yourself a better person. Do the hard inner work and you will begin to radiate and everything in your life will become easier.
I can't even believe it is the same person!! Seriously.. He wouldn't dream of it now, he called me from the bus stop at the end of his road last week to let me know he had just gotten off (I had been at his house for about 5 minutes waiting) and he came running
through he door... Had run the whole length of the street cos he "didn't want to keep me waiting and was so excited to see me" crazy!!!"
My condolences on the tragedy that Clare's bf and his family are
going through. May everyone be given peace and strength and your relationship become stronger after this huge loss.
Clare is a perfect example that when you stop blaming everyone else
for your problems, your life changes overnight. I am often accused of being harsh and not empathetic by some very anxious women when I try to point out that they are at the center of their lives' problems, no one else. And only them can change their lives by changing their paradigm and pattern of behaviors.
Clare's "lamb
dish" story (that she prepared for her bf's birthday to which he arrived 2 hrs late and caused them to break up) will be a part of my new program Four Components Of Melting A Man's Heart. Join 26 other ladies in securing a special spot in your man's heart this coming Sunday, March 30. I will reveal all the secrets that
make you a cherished woman that his search ends with you.
And you don't want to miss the replays of recently finished cycle of Journey Inward because apart from that is "the-get-ex-back" edition, a participant Melissa got claimed by her EUM right after the program and a year after they started dating and a month after their breakup and she found me. He's now planning a
vacation for them both. She'll be the subject of my next blog post. Though I don't usually provide plans for replays you can get them for weekly or biweekly or monthly easy payments by clicking on such options here.
Stay tuned for next success stories. I read about them everyday in the ladies group and I can't help marveling at how blessed my life is to be around and
knowing such wonderful women who are so committed to their personal growth which I'm sure you belong to as well.
Love, Katarina
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