It's this time of year again: Valentine's Day. And many of you are perhaps anticipating with trepidation of what is in store. Our groups usually become weeping chambers this time of year thanks to expectations aren't being met.
Truth is we still see posts day in day out about
unmet expectations: from not getting response to texts in a timely manner or him leaving the convo without saying anything (as if texts were meant to be forever), to him not wanting to be miserable staying in bed with a sick girlfriend, to taking offense of others not expressing themselves the way one thinks they should (or not hearing what one wants to hear when it comes to advice).
Truth is expectations are the mother of all
sorrow.
One of my favorite quotes is of Carl Jung who said "One who looks outside dreams. One who looks inside awakens."
Which one are you?
Are you aware enough to sit with your inner reaction/emotions and learn from them or are you always too busy trying to fix people and the outer world so they fit to your ideas of how things should be?
The first camp owns their
emotions. The latter projects their expectations onto the world. And as such they'll continue to dream and suffer in the dream. They're so deeply unconscious.
This point is often driven home by my very transformational unmoderated FB groups. From time to time there will be members who think people should follow rules on how not to offend others, instead of working on the penchant of taking offense.
They believe their
perception is the most accurate. They believe that right or wrong, good or bad is as clear cut as ABC. That it can easily be determined at all time without paradoxes.
And as such people who hold such dualistic view of the world will continue to fight because they're divided within.
They're so "shadowy" (my term of someone who is so limping and imbalanced walking on one leg all the time). They're blind to their own dark side and what they're not aware of they're going to project while the entire time thinking they're not and will never be one of the offenders they judge.
But it's simply not true. With a
little of self-awareness you will see how roles are reversed every so often. Now you feel like a victim (oh people are being rude and attacking me!). Tomorrow others will feel they're the victims of your rudeness and attacks. And you will say "that's your perception cause I have no intention to be rude or to hurt/attack you!"
Don't tell me you've never had that experience. You're just not attuned to it cause you're too busy in your head
defending yourself. And do you even realize that the need to defend yourself (and thus be defensive) is because you constantly judge yourself (hence you also constantly judge others)?
One finger pointing, three fingers back at ya. You can see clearly when others are doing it to you but not yourself, can't you?
Do you get where I'm coming from?
This is why I continue to give extraordinary results in
the industry.
This is basic to my teachings so if you're still resisting it you will continue to have problems in your relationships, not just with your guy or men you date but everyone, including your
friends and family members.
And this lesson isn't missed by my
star students. They thrive in every aspect of their lives thanks to this realization.
