Hi ,

 

A centered person doesn't operate from a place of defensiveness or fear.  People using you isn't the first thing that comes to mind when you interact with others when you don't have stories about being violated or being a victim.

 

At the same time a centered person isn't projecting their desire, expectations and wishful thinking on other people either.

 

Their mind stays put where the moment is, not going backward to the past or forward to the future.

 

They just see things in a direct way unintruded by any story of the I, one way or the other.  And they respond accordingly moment to moment based on their direct feelings as they arise in the moment.

 

This is why you never hear me tell you to set boundaries.  That is simply not something that crosses my mind very often.  I am a quiet spaciousness inside so I don't project whatever preoccupations I have cause I have none, generally speaking.

 

 

Many think that softening of boundaries mean you will become a doormat.  Because it's the opposite of setting of boundaries in their mind.

 

Softening of boundaries isn't about having no boundaries whatsoever.  It's all about transcending your triggers so you very rarely perceive insults and slights which means you're more and more well-rounded as you react less and less to other people's speech and actions or lack thereof.

 

And in fact when you soften your boundaries your standards will naturally improve. This is why: when you have minimum expectations, you'll be able to better judge if a relationship works for you. When you do know that ultimately this relationship isn't satisfying for you, you will walk away with no problem. You know why? Because the zero expectations have softened you so much to the point that you know your own self-worth and you know what kind of man deserves you. You won't settle because you love yourself more than anyone in the world. A woman who can calmly stick to her deal breakers like that will gain a man's respect so much that it will be foolish for him to let you go.

 

So it's not what you think it is.  And trust my teachings are unconventional and very counter intuitive so a lot of times your assumptions are off and instead of reviewing my principles you are just projecting your own unresolved issues.

 

So before opining about what softening of boundaries is all about, I strongly recommend you to listen to the hit class that has been a source of inner calm for over 1200 ladies over the years and it might also be the key on why your relationship can't go a distance.  Because you have too many boundaries and as such the more boundaries you have the more likely they get violated.
 

Related to boundaries, you can't also miss a class from 2 weeks ago in the fan subscriptions on How Setting Up So Many Boundaries and Show Up A Diva Will Land You A Beta Man or How Rotational Dating Till You Get A Ring Will Land You A Beta Husband (70 mins).

 

And that class was followed by the sequel: What Is Vulnerability and What Vulnerability Looks Like in Dating and Relationship.

 

Setting so many boundaries is a reflection of your needs to control and, thus, is a reflection of your capacity or lack thereof to be vulnerable. Unless you are vulnerable and surrendering to the process your relationship will never deepen and the only way for a masculine man to bond with you and move the relationship forward is when you are being vulnerable.

 

You don't need to be vulnerable with beta men cause you're in control as you wish. But eventually if you're feminine at the core you'll get bored and lose attraction with "nice guys" who always kowtow to your command and expectations.

 

You'll want a more masculine man with a back bone.

 

How do I know? Cause I've been with a beta man for 9 years in my 20's and 30's.

 

Then last Saturday Coach Dasha was back with a BOMB subject "How to Cultivate Good Mental Health and Feminine Well-Being." So we had 2 classes last week alone!!!!

 

 

I produce the most engagements in the business, hands down cause I understand the principles that work in dating and relationship like no other!

 

Don't believe me?  Here's #53, 54, 55 and 56 and 58 this year.