Here's a post by Kerry in the support group that all of you can learn from: "An update on my EUM...(the guy that had contacted me after 8 weeks and we got together for a great night where he brought me champagne and sushi). And
then (here is the update) I didn't hear from him for 6 days! haha!!
Of course right?!! Pre-Kat...I would have felt really really angry and freaked out at this...beat myself up and felt like an idiot for giving him a night of my time. I most likely would have ended it or said something "vinegary" in response to his late
text..lol!
INSTEAD I "mirrored"...I didn't respond back to his text for 5 days. It felt SO good and SO empowering. I realized I wasn't freaking out at all about his 6 day delay and I didn't have any anger or guilt for having had that "FUN!!" night with him either (thanks to my inner change!!).
Then, when I did end up responding I mirrored again by saying "oh, sorry for the delay it has been a busy week" (he has used this "busy" excuse before with me). Then I said some other nice things and ended it with have a "great 4th of July"!
PURE HONEY... but not just in words...I actually felt GREAT and Happy! He responded all sweetly "wishing me a happy 4th" and then sent me a picture of "US" on the night we met (9 months ago). I didn't even know he had a picture of us from that night! He must have
gotten it from his friend (who took it)!
Then... he texted me a couple days later asking if I was back from Minnesota (I am) as he wanted to see me
Wednesday (which turns out was his birthday!!) He took me "out" on a date on "his" birthday!!
This is the guy I normally have couch only dates with! I leaned
back the entire date and he was all over me with affection all night.
We had a blast, we drank a little too much...and guess what, ladies....he told me "he LOVES
me and thinks I am a really good person!!"
I wasn't expecting that! It might have been an alcohol buzz "I love you" and maybe it was an "in the moment"
feeling he was having...but all I kept thinking was "YOU ROCK KAT!"
This change in me is real and it really is having an effect on these masculine males. The
Alphas I always wanted but just couldn't seem to keep. Oh...and the freedom I am feeling from NOT FUTURE THINKING is awesome!!
Living in the moment
and NOT worrying about where/if this relationship is going somewhere or anywhere for that matter is something I have never experienced before....amazing!!
I've said it before and I'll say it again "thank you Kat!!"
If you get easily upset thanks to your hard boundaries (you call it "high standards") and your dating life never goes very far thanks to this, you might want to follow Kerry's example above.
Your hard boundaries are because you need external assurance that you're "worthy." And when you aren't getting it the way you think you should, you
feel slighted. You make keeping you happy and contented an obligation. That's what luring with vinegar is all about.
And of course together with those hard boundaries you also have rules on how you should be treated as that one special woman. He shouldn't talk to his exes. He shouldn't stare at other women. He shouldn't talk to other women in whatever capacity at all.
Correct?
You are jealous cause deep down you don't feel enough. And you keep comparing yourself to other women. If you feel
enough you won't feel jealous. You think removing competition or asserting control on what acceptable behaviors he can indulge in is the only way you'll be spared from this uncomfortable feeling.
Wrong. If you don't deal with your jealousy issue heads on it will keep rearing its ugly head time and again. The class I conducted yesterday will deal with this chronic issue once and for all:
Kerry also just signed up for
Journey Inward in which she will re-enforce her newfound way of being through powerful sessions of inner work. Over 800 ladies have graduated from this program.
If you
want to give yourself a chance in love, hop on this exciting journey toward Goddesshood. Start with my ebook and you get to closely work with me. You'll get my direct coaching (through email or Skype or both) and a see how little tweak from me makes a whole difference in your relationship.
Love,
Katarina
