Melody shared this in the group: "Ladies, I'm in a peculiar situation-ship. This guy I really like, and I have known each other
for 6 weeks. Met each other a bunch of times. He's flown across the country to see me; as have I.
Problem is he's engaged, and on the brink of ending it. He says his relationship is dead, and he loves me. His actions do somewhat tell me that he's deeply interested in
me—he's thinking of a future together etc.
I'm focusing more on what he's doing. I do love him, but not sure what to do at this point. We aren't in a relationship. I've
told him I'd like to slow down and take things easy, while I'm dating others too, so that I'm not over invested.
But I feel like I'm. I do wait for him to call/contact him. Should I fully lean back for him to come and claim me?
Today when I firmly told him that I'm dating other people too, he was upset but at the same time said he had no right to dictate my life until he had sorted his mess out. He's going to this week to break it off.
Should I continue the same way, and not initiate any contact? He's a lovely person and treated me well, but he keeps blowing hot and cold. We decided to take a few steps back but we seem to dancing in circles.
We speak everyday. Text message every day. I'm a bit confused about where we are. I was the one who asked to stay casual since I didn't want to be his rebound."
Here's the situation that is so clear from the get-go why men can be EUM. Lots of single men are (whether or not they're truly emotionally unavailable or just scared of many women's masculine/chasing energy), let alone those who are still engaged, or married or not divorced yet. Or recently broke up.
For the sake of being reasonable let's assume they will be for a period of time till they deal with the baggage and leftovers of their past relationship. A wise woman won't be emotionally involved with men like this for this very reason. Fact is, realistically, it's not possible for anyone to jump from one relationship to the next when one's not really over the previous one.
You can't start a new relationship till you are over the old one.
It's not nuclear science, it's just common sense. You may not know that you are not ready till you are thrown in the new relationship and feel burdened by the
expectations.
Are you in this situation? Or maybe you are seeing a guy who is single on paper but he hasn't truly moved on emotionally from his ex or last relationship?
Best course of actions is to observe and adjust
accordingly. If he's hot and cold, it's the sign right there that you need to put him in your rotation. If he needs to finish his business with his ex, let him go. Hold the door wide open.
Her story is a
successful one cause she didn't attach. She was wise enough to allow him to finish that part of his journey. They have been back together for over a year now and they have been through ups and downs like any couple. They're more bonded now than ever especially now they're going through the final days of his mother who is dying of cancer.
You can listen to her interview and learn so much from her how men are
wired.
That is what I did with my divorce. I turned that tragedy and devastation into a thriving empire that changes thousands of lives every single day.
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Love,
Katarina
